Talking Race As The White Parent

As the white parent in an interracial relationship, my experience with talking about race is very different from other parents of white children. I attended an event a few nights ago titled “Raising Race-Conscious Children” (more info at raceconscious.org), and the underlying discussion was to bring up race before it is brought up by the child. This can normalize the fact that people are different skin colors. For example, when reading a book, look at the different races of people in the book and point it out. Studies show that kids begin to see race as early as 6 months and begin to react at a couple of years and by the time they’re 5 or 6 are beginning to act in accordance with the beliefs but they’ve picked up. What I find so fascinating is that as a parent of a multiracial child, there’s no question that race will come up. He’s only one and a half years old and it already has come up a number of times. But for parents of white children, it takes an effort to raise the topic of race and to bring up a child who is aware of race.
I’m in a place of privilege that I don’t feel the stigma of raising a child who is a different race (even though he is) because our skin tones and eye colors are very similar. But I see the looks when my wife is with us. Continue reading

Hi, there, gorgeous….

It is 2:12am and we are starting a blog.

And by we, I mean me, Tabitha.

Adam is fast asleep on the couch after coming home from a workshop with our synagogue about talking to your kids about race (more on that from him later) and Baby SBJ has been asleep since 8pm, making me officially my own hero.

Adam and I decided to start this blog because we talk about race and religion a ton. It may be a bit much but that’s our style. I was pretty clueless about being mixed race in the US until our son was born. As it turns out, he is super pale. I wrote about my experience with a child who could pass as white for Cafe Media and the Huffington Post picked up the article. Read it here. The coolest thing that came out of it was how many moms and dads shared their family pics and stories. It was amazing to me that so many families go through the same thing but it’s not a public dialogue.

I want to change that. Let’s talk about race with our kids. Let’s unpack that shit from as young as possible. That’s why Baby SBJ’s first words were “Black lives matter”.

I hope you’ll join in on our convos, even when you don’t agree with us and share your stories of race in the US as we share ours.