So even in my attempt to be grateful in my last post, I was still throwing shade to the person who inspired me to do this. This positivity thing is super hard. Here goes Day 2.
Today, I am grateful that on a nice day, Adam, the baby and I took a peaceful walk on the boardwalk. I have a really big meeting on Thursday and lots of prep to do but I realized that there will always be work. There will always be deadlines. Sure enough, it was worth it. The baby wanted to hold Mommy’s hand in one hand and Daddy’s in the other. When either of us let go, he would freak out. He wanted to just walk down the boardwalk like this. It really hit home for me how impactful the dynamic between Adam and I is for him. Even though he doesn’t verbally express it, it affects him when we are together, not stressed out and not working. This solidified the importance of having an attitude of gratitude even more because I am already seeing how my temperament is affecting him.
Passover is almost here. Bagels are not kosher for Passover, but curry is. Discuss.
In a mixed family, holidays are both amazing and tough. They are amazing because we get to share traditions with each other and create new traditions as a family. We love our families, so getting together for holidays is fantastic. The baby loves his cousins and aunties and uncles and Nana and Grandma and Grandpa(s).
That’s the easy part.
Adam: Holidays are tough because Tabitha and I have expectations of each other, some of which are spoken, some of which are assumed, but all of which are steeped in years of experiencing our own traditions. Continue reading →
Mayor Bill De Blasio is in hot water for saying “I was running on C.P. time” in what was a scripted skit involving “Hamilton” star Leslie Odom Jr. and Hillary Clinton. The city is up in arms. In typical Hillary fashion, she is putting the blame on De Blasio for the skit. I don’t think De Blasio has a racist bone in his body. I do think, however, that he needs to have his black privilege checked and Chirlane is the one to do it. Continue reading →
I did the unimaginable and I found the time to do my hair. Mommy win! I’ve been obsessed with Gabrielle Union’s braids for a minute and I wanted to experiment with the look so I decided to try it. This is the second time I’ve done braids but the first that I’m doing it with a full head of hair, post-side shave. I used to braid hair back in college and the process of doing my own hair is always a fun little me-time activity. I can’t remember the last time post-pregnancy that I took this much time for myself.
No-one tells you that babies and braids just do not mix, though. I had this vision of long, flowing locks cascading over my shoulders.
As the white parent in an interracial relationship, my experience with talking about race is very different from other parents of white children. I attended an event a few nights ago titled “Raising Race-Conscious Children” (more info at raceconscious.org), and the underlying discussion was to bring up race before it is brought up by the child. This can normalize the fact that people are different skin colors. For example, when reading a book, look at the different races of people in the book and point it out. Studies show that kids begin to see race as early as 6 months and begin to react at a couple of years and by the time they’re 5 or 6 are beginning to act in accordance with the beliefs but they’ve picked up. What I find so fascinating is that as a parent of a multiracial child, there’s no question that race will come up. He’s only one and a half years old and it already has come up a number of times. But for parents of white children, it takes an effort to raise the topic of race and to bring up a child who is aware of race.
I’m in a place of privilege that I don’t feel the stigma of raising a child who is a different race (even though he is) because our skin tones and eye colors are very similar. But I see the looks when my wife is with us. Continue reading →
Adam is fast asleep on the couch after coming home from a workshop with our synagogue about talking to your kids about race (more on that from him later) and Baby SBJ has been asleep since 8pm, making me officially my own hero.
Adam and I decided to start this blog because we talk about race and religion a ton. It may be a bit much but that’s our style. I was pretty clueless about being mixed race in the US until our son was born. As it turns out, he is super pale. I wrote about my experience with a child who could pass as white for Cafe Media and the Huffington Post picked up the article. Read it here. The coolest thing that came out of it was how many moms and dads shared their family pics and stories. It was amazing to me that so many families go through the same thing but it’s not a public dialogue.
I want to change that. Let’s talk about race with our kids. Let’s unpack that shit from as young as possible. That’s why Baby SBJ’s first words were “Black lives matter”.
I hope you’ll join in on our convos, even when you don’t agree with us and share your stories of race in the US as we share ours.