My Quarantine Wardrobe

As you know, we left NYC in a hurry. I also wasn’t interested in packing my pretty dresses and fancy shoes for two reasons. I wanted to be comfortable and we also just didn’t have the space. Every spare inch of the car was stuffed with valuable food that we would need for our 14 day quarantine. Working in the field of social justice means I’ve amassed an impressive array of statement sweatshirts and working from home means I’ve amassed an equally impressive array of sweatpants. The Christmas socks are just because. This sweatshirt was from a collab Women’s March did with Gilt.com a few years ago. It has served me well over the years and is super comfy. So let’s be honest now. I haven’t worn makeup in weeks. My daily hair regime involves rubbing Morroccan oil into my scalp because it’s been falling out (more on that in another post) and brushing it into a high bun. And I’ve packed one pair of old sneakers and it isn’t my crisp white Vejas. That’s it. This is my daily look. Oh how the mighty have fallen is a phrase that comes to mind here. It is what it is. Sorry to that man. This is the best I’ve got.

Parenting In The Age Of COVID-19-Feelings

My son. My darling 5 year old. My independent, mouthy, gregarious little boy. The kid who only remembers he has a mom when it’s time for food or bedtime. The one was only allows cuddles in the night when he wants to sleep. We’ve been quarantining for about 3 weeks now and the changes in his behavior are marked. So today, I’m going to share about how things are going with him.

Parenting In The Age of COVID-19-Introduction

Image by Lauren Crothers

In the past few weeks, our lives have changed in major ways. We are in the midst of a global pandemic because of the coronavirus. After a series of unfortunate incidents concerning my kids and privacy online, I had stopped blogging a while ago. In light of these new changes in our lives and the fact that we are living through a pandemic, I’ve made the decision to return to blogging for various reasons. Firstly, I want to maintain a record of some sort for the kids of what life was like for us during this time. If we are blessed enough to live through this, I want them to take note of all of it, the emotional moments, the hard moments, the seemingly impossible moments and also the joyful moments, the moments we won’t forget. Another hope I have in doing this is that other parents may read it and not feel quite so alone in their struggles. We’re over-saturated with online offerings of ways to keep our kids entertained and educated. We’re doing almost none of it and I’ll talk about why. I’ll also talk about the different journeys with my 7 month old daughter and 5 year old son and how we are attempting to, fighting, trying really hard to keep their lives stable and loving and gentle. I also have been finding solace in writing, again, after a period of feeling like my voice was not quite my own because of the public nature of my work over the last few years. So I am blogging for my kids, for you but also for my own personal healing. Hope it brings you a little slice of peace.

Parenting In The Age of COVID-19-Tough Decisions

Adam and I are both in love with New York in what can only be described as bordering on dysfunctional. We love the pulse of the city. We love Brooklyn. We love our friends, our synagogue, our community. It’s where we both came into our own as adults. I came straight from Trinidad to NYC in 2001 and have never lived anywhere else. NYC holds immense joy, pain, sadness, meaning and love for both of us and we are deeply connected to it.

Yesterday, we made the decision to leave. Here’s why.

Facing Pain As A Black Mama

Image by Lauren Crothers

Today, I went to see a prenatal chiropractor. I’ve been suffering from really awful sciatica for the past few weeks. No biggie to me because I had sciatica with my first pregnancy and powered through it. The difference is that this time, my son noticed. He’s been having a really rough few days and I asked him what was wrong. He told me I don’t “get up anymore” and I don’t play with him (among other issues). He’s right. I spend most of my time at home on the couch, unable to move much because of shooting pains down the backs of my legs. Adam is super active with him, though, so I thought he made up for my absence. Turns out my son has been noticing. I asked around for suggestions of chiropractors and saw one today. She did her thing and I now amazingly have full range of motion in my hips, again. No more pain. No more sciatica. It’s really quite mind-blowing. The best part about being able to move again is getting to spend more time with our son but let’s face it. It’s also nice to not be in pain. So why did I wait so long?

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We’re pregnant!

Images by Lauren Crothers

So delighted that Adam and I are expecting, again! It’s been a very intense year for us and our fertility journey. I’ll share more on that in future posts. We’re 5.5 months along and the three of us are over the moon with excitement. Our son has named her Scarlett. I’m pretty sure that name isn’t going to stick post-birth but let’s go with it for now. She’s very active and looks amazing so far. We’re due in August so I’m really excited for summer pregnancy fashion. In the mean time, we’re just cherishing these last few months as a fam of 3 and dedicating ourselves to living in the moment.

“Mom, I’m White”-What The White Parent Thinks

As you can tell from this blog, race is a frequent topic at home. Tabitha and I hold nothing back when discussing the topic with each other. We try to delve deep into situations, learn from them and use our privilege to help make change.
In fact, we had a learning moment recently when we went to a wedding. I asked what suit I should wear. It’s not an in-depth choice: I own two suits–one very light brown that I wore for our summer wedding and one dark brown that I wear to everything else. She suggested the light one, and that seemed logical to me. May wedding means summer suit, right? Wrong. Turns out that for this wedding of two Puerto Rican men, I stood out like Jeff Sessions at a backyard bbq. We talked about it, acknowledged that in these scenarios it is better to err on the side of caution, discussed why and enjoyed the chance to party while our son was sound asleep at home with a babysitter. But I digress. The point is that the conversations are easy between the two of us.

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I’m An Extroverted Introvert & I’m Okay With It

Yesterday ended a blissful weekend. We slept in late Saturday morning, met friends at the playground, went to the grocery store and came home to spend a leisurely evening before an early bedtime. The next day, I did some more cleaning and packing away in our new apartment. We then went over to our family’s apartment to hang out before another early night. On Monday,  I dropped my son off at daycare, worked, went to a rally over lunch, worked some more and picked him up. We stopped at the playground for a few minutes before heading home for dinner and bedtime. It was blissful indeed. You’re probably asking what was so delightful about this weekend, as opposed to others. Well, the big difference was that Adam was out of town. I had a really nice weekend in large part connected to his absence and I was filled with guilt at how much I enjoyed it. I soon realized something important to my sanity. This is simply life as an extroverted introvert.  Continue reading

No, My Son Is Not White

There are very few pics of our son on the internet. I do this mainly because I want him to own his online footprint when and if he is ready to claim it. Another reason I do this is because people are just fucking idiots when it comes to pictures of kids on the internet and I have zero patience for the nonsense. This week, someone commented on a picture of him in a tshirt that says “I Love My Blackness and Yours, Too”. The person commented (and then deleted) that he couldn’t love his blackness because he is white. He then proceeded to tell me that I was trying to whiten my children.

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