Facing Pain As A Black Mama

Image by Lauren Crothers

Today, I went to see a prenatal chiropractor. I’ve been suffering from really awful sciatica for the past few weeks. No biggie to me because I had sciatica with my first pregnancy and powered through it. The difference is that this time, my son noticed. He’s been having a really rough few days and I asked him what was wrong. He told me I don’t “get up anymore” and I don’t play with him (among other issues). He’s right. I spend most of my time at home on the couch, unable to move much because of shooting pains down the backs of my legs. Adam is super active with him, though, so I thought he made up for my absence. Turns out my son has been noticing. I asked around for suggestions of chiropractors and saw one today. She did her thing and I now amazingly have full range of motion in my hips, again. No more pain. No more sciatica. It’s really quite mind-blowing. The best part about being able to move again is getting to spend more time with our son but let’s face it. It’s also nice to not be in pain. So why did I wait so long?

Continue reading

We’re pregnant!

Images by Lauren Crothers

So delighted that Adam and I are expecting, again! It’s been a very intense year for us and our fertility journey. I’ll share more on that in future posts. We’re 5.5 months along and the three of us are over the moon with excitement. Our son has named her Scarlett. I’m pretty sure that name isn’t going to stick post-birth but let’s go with it for now. She’s very active and looks amazing so far. We’re due in August so I’m really excited for summer pregnancy fashion. In the mean time, we’re just cherishing these last few months as a fam of 3 and dedicating ourselves to living in the moment.

“Mom, I’m White”-What The White Parent Thinks

As you can tell from this blog, race is a frequent topic at home. Tabitha and I hold nothing back when discussing the topic with each other. We try to delve deep into situations, learn from them and use our privilege to help make change.
In fact, we had a learning moment recently when we went to a wedding. I asked what suit I should wear. It’s not an in-depth choice: I own two suits–one very light brown that I wore for our summer wedding and one dark brown that I wear to everything else. She suggested the light one, and that seemed logical to me. May wedding means summer suit, right? Wrong. Turns out that for this wedding of two Puerto Rican men, I stood out like Jeff Sessions at a backyard bbq. We talked about it, acknowledged that in these scenarios it is better to err on the side of caution, discussed why and enjoyed the chance to party while our son was sound asleep at home with a babysitter. But I digress. The point is that the conversations are easy between the two of us.

Continue reading

I’m An Extroverted Introvert & I’m Okay With It

Yesterday ended a blissful weekend. We slept in late Saturday morning, met friends at the playground, went to the grocery store and came home to spend a leisurely evening before an early bedtime. The next day, I did some more cleaning and packing away in our new apartment. We then went over to our family’s apartment to hang out before another early night. On Monday,  I dropped my son off at daycare, worked, went to a rally over lunch, worked some more and picked him up. We stopped at the playground for a few minutes before heading home for dinner and bedtime. It was blissful indeed. You’re probably asking what was so delightful about this weekend, as opposed to others. Well, the big difference was that Adam was out of town. I had a really nice weekend in large part connected to his absence and I was filled with guilt at how much I enjoyed it. I soon realized something important to my sanity. This is simply life as an extroverted introvert.  Continue reading

No, My Son Is Not White

There are very few pics of our son on the internet. I do this mainly because I want him to own his online footprint when and if he is ready to claim it. Another reason I do this is because people are just fucking idiots when it comes to pictures of kids on the internet and I have zero patience for the nonsense. This week, someone commented on a picture of him in a tshirt that says “I Love My Blackness and Yours, Too”. The person commented (and then deleted) that he couldn’t love his blackness because he is white. He then proceeded to tell me that I was trying to whiten my children.

Continue reading

Bye Bye Pacifier!

Tonight is a big night. Adam and I decided to bring the days of the pacifier to a close. The main reason is because it’s affecting his teeth as per his dentist. Another reason is that he doesn’t use it at school at all so we’re being played a little bit here. And don’t get it twisted….he knows he is playing us. We prepped him all week, telling him we would have a farewell cupcake party for the paci and that he could get a new toy. He was so excited all week but today was a mess. It hit him Continue reading

Planning The Women’s March on Washington

As many of you have heard, I’ve been helping plan the Women’s March on Washington. Specifically, I’ve been coordinating the Youth Initiative. It’s been quite a journey the last 3 months and we are now a week away. I’m super excited and can’t wait for Adam, our son and I to participate in this historic event. The support for the march has been incredible. Vogue did a wonderful piece on the organizers. 

Continue reading

6 Ways that Facing Race Helped My Post-Election Fear

This past week was intense, right?. Let’s just say it wasn’t the greatest election result for those of us who believe in racial justice.  Tabitha and I were tense and walking around New York the day after the election was eerie–it was raining, everyone looked warn out and the future was dire.

Thankfully, I jumped into a bubble of racial justice on Thursday: I had the privilege of attending Facing Race, a conference for racial justice Continue reading

Where Fear Meets Comfort

Adam: The election is today and let’s just say Tabitha and I are kind of scared for our family. There are two major identifiers in our family: We’re interracial and we’re Jewish. This election has brought out both racism and anti-Semitism in fellow Americans. Tabitha and I have discussed both of these “isms” at length. “Did you see the latest video?” became a question between us, one that we used too frequently to refer to a video of another Black person shot by police or intensely mistreated because of the color of their skin. I grew up believing (and still believe) that the Holocaust could happen again. Continue reading